Show and Tell #30 - Robert White

Robert White
21 January 2018

‘Robert White is a ball of comedic energy so sharp and expansive you could almost feel the static crackling through your hair. His set comprised of musical excerpts, improvised composition and sounds and harsh comedic superlatives. His sweet, sincere appearance is in sharp contrast to the deluge of perverse wordplay and hilariously disgraceful insinuations. He is like the South Park character of stand up, appalling and shocking from beneath his blond hair and beautiful boyish looks. His absence of the slightest quiescence kept the audience on their toes in thorough entertainment. With his quick intelligence and child’s penchant for mayhem, his material and performance are extremely funny, shocking and original. He’s a spark amongst the daunting circuitry of the comedy hard drive. Fantastic!' (BBC)

Robert will perform at our Barnstormers Comedy event on Friday 26 January.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
A pineapple you pick off the tree [Do pineapples grow on trees?, I’ve never thought, anyway , that’s not Important, but this is being published sooooo *googles ‘Wikipedia Pineapple’*]. Ok, here we go; A pineapple you pick off the herbaceous perennial, which is already infused with Malibu [other brands of coconut white-rum are available]. Hope the other questions are not so involved please?!

What lies at the heart of your own desire to write and perform standup comedy?
A huge financial loss I have accrued, due to funding a highly experimental Malibu infused Pineapple farm. [By the way, this idea is copyrighted so hands off!!!!]

Who’s your favourite comedian and why?
Jimmy Pineapple ‘The sultan of swank’. I have absolutely no idea who he is, but I just googled ‘pineapple comedy’ and he appeared, so from now on he is my god.

Choose 1, 2 or 3 of your all-time favourite music tracks.
1. 1. Agadoo   - for the line ‘push pineapple shake the tree’
2. 2. Malibu by Miley Cyrus
3. 3. There are no more relevant songs

From your favourite poem – could you give us a few lines that mean something to you?
Pineapple and pomegranates -  Paul Muldoon
‘In one corner of the planet.
I'm talking about pineapples - right? - not pomegranates.’
It means so much to me as it reminds me of my speciality genetically engineered fruit farm - Products available at;

If you were to die and come back as a person, animal or a thing, what would it be?
I would come back as a Pineapple weevil, and my whole life would be centred around eating pineapples from my own speciality genetically engineered fruit farm.

What is your greatest extravagance?
A solar-electricity powered industrial pineapple corer.

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Creatively: Dancing at Pineapple dance studios
Spiritually: Ascend - a Christian religious fellowship group, based in Malibu.
Emotionally: Ascend, a Christian religious fellowship group based in Malibu, dancing at Pineapple dance studios

Which artwork/film/book has most inspired you?
The painting by Vladimir Kush – Ananas Crowd (Pineapple crowd)

Favourite website/blog?

Best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?
‘Hey, why don’t you set up a speciality genetically engineered fruit farm so when you pick a pineapple straight from the herbaceous perennial it is already infused with Malibu?’

Best recent read?
‘Smoke over Malibu’ by Tim Walker.